The First Day I Came to College (范文)

The First Day I Came to College

人力1303 车佳玉（14分）

How quickly time has flown by! These words flashed to my mind when I looked at the school gate of BUU. I’m a college student now. When I was informed that I would start my college life in this beautiful university, my heart was full of/ filled with happiness.

To begin with,at my first sight of the campus,I felt a kind of lively and comfortable atmosphere. Seniors as volunteers help us find the way with smile on their faces, which is quite sweet. Then, a crowed of people waited on all roads of the school. The bright morning sun shone down on their red faces. By this time, all new students seemed to take a special interest in what was going to happen n their new life.

After registration I went to the dormitory, and met five new friends who will spend our university life together. I was so excited tha t they were very easy going. I was the last one arriving at the dormitory. I never felt myself a new comer, but a member of the big family.

I will remember the nice day forever and I believe that it must be a good start of my colorful lie. I wish I can learn as much as possible here.

作文点评：

该文章整体上看是篇好文章。主要体现在内容充实，不空洞。特别是表示时间的逻辑关系词用得很得当（蓝色字体）。文章中多处体现了从句的使用（红色字体，注意它是什么从句），而不是多个单句的罗列或堆积。

人力1303B 李昕瞳（13分）

August.27th, 2013, the first day I came to my college, was a day full of surprise.All that I saw here was quite different from my high school. There were lots of tall trees standing on both sides of the roads. I also saw different kinds of buildings. Later I was glad to see my comfortable and beautiful room, where five lovely girls and I forming a small family. So luckily I made friends with them. To my great delight, there was a big library offering all kinds of books for us in this college. I was sure that I would learn more from it.

In a word, I will remember the nice of day forever and I believe that it must be a good start of my colorful life.

作文点评：

该文章整体上看是篇不错的文章。主要体现在有内容，不空洞。文章中多处体现了从句的使用（红色字体，注意它是什么从句），还要注意分词的用法（蓝色字体）而不是多个单句的罗列或堆积。

人力1302B 杨彤（13分）

As it was the first day I came to the college, I had some thoughts and feelings. To begin with, at my first sight of the campus, I found it was beautiful and tidy. Distinguished from my high school, there were lots of tall trees standing on the both sides of the roads. Then, a crowed of people, freshmen and their parents, walked or asked on the campus（同位语的使用）. Everyone looked very excited. When I moved into he dormitory, I encountered my first friend named Zhang

Yun Ying. She is very passionate girl. By introducing to each other, I know she is older than I. After that, I cleaned the room with the aid of Zhang.

In the afternoon, our teacher gathered us to have a meeting in a classroom. At the meeting, the teacher told us how to learn better in college. Sitting in the classroom, I felt I was very lucky, because I have a good teacher and lots of classmates.

I believe I will have a good time and improve myself better in four years with my friends.

作文点评：

该文章整体上看是篇不错的文章。分词引状语运用的很好，但在表示逻辑关系得词汇方面还要在加强。