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40+ Funny 60th Birthday Quotes

A 60th birthday is a significant milestone. Reflect on life and celebrate with a laugh. Read funny 60th birthday quotes for a good laugh.

60th birthday candles.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

The 60th birthday is a big deal. It’s the decade where the average American retires.

It’s also a time to reflect on memories and accomplishments. Then, begin planning for new experiences.

Whether you know someone turning 60 or it’s you, read the following 60th birthday quotes for a laugh.

Related: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Hilarious 60th birthday quotes

1. Happy 60th birthday! You’re not old, just classic.

2. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.” -Ellen DeGeneres

3. “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.” -Jerry Seinfeld

4. You’re not 60. You’re 21 with 39 years of experience.

60th birthday balloon.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

5. Happy 60th birthday! Today is the start of something magical, senior discounts on everything.

6. “I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.” -Herbert Beerbohm Tree

7. “Men come of age at sixty, women at fifteen.” -James Stephens

8. Happy 60th birthday! If you were a turtle, you’d still be a teenager.

9. “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get up again.” -John Wagner

10. Happy 60th birthday! You’re the youngest 60-year-old I know.

11. A little grey hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

12. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” -Bob Hope

13. Happy 60th birthday! You’re not really 60, though. You’re more like 20, but three times more interesting.

14. “ Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” -Mallory Hopkins

15. Happy 60th birthday! But don’t panic. You still got it.

16. Happy 60th birthday! Let the new year be gin.

17. “To me – old age is always ten years older than I am.” -Bernard Baruch

18. You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”

19. Happy 60th birthday! It comes with new skills. Now, you can laugh, cough, sneeze, and pee at the same time.

20. Happy 60th birthday! You’re not old. You’ve just been around for a while.

Happy birthday sign.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

21. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” -Mark Twain

22. Happy 60th birthday! You’re still only halfway to 120.

23. Happy 60th birthday! Now I know why sixty and sexy sound alike.

24. “Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.” -Jennifer Yane

25. Happy 60th birthday! Just think about how young 60 will seem when you turn 70.

26. Happy 60th birthday! Congratulations on becoming vintage.

27. Happy 60th birthday! It’s like re-living 20… for the third time.

28. “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” -George Burns

29. “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” -Will Rogers

30. Sixty and sassy.

31. “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” -Phyllis Diller

32. “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” -Maurice Chevalier

33. Happy 60th birthday! I’m not saying you’re old. But if you were whiskey, you’d be expensive.

34. It took me 60 years to look this good.

35. Happy 42nd anniversary of your 18th birthday.

36. Turning 60 is like turning 16… degrees Celsius.

37. Happy 60th birthday! Your favorite band is now elevator music.

38. Happy 60th birthday! I’m not saying you’re old. But if you were milk, I’d sniff you first.

39. Happy birthday! You’re only 55 plus sales tax.

Birthday cake.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

40. Happy 60th birthday! This is your second time turning 30.

41. 59 was so yesterday. Happy 60th birthday!

42. Happy 60th birthday! You’re too old for a mid-life crisis and too young for velcro shoes.

Related: Hilarious Beer Puns Brewed to Perfection

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.

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